Prayer is at the heart of Christian life, but its effectiveness remains a mystery. Why do some prayers seem to get an answer while others don’t? Have you ever prayed fervently – for health, love, peace, success in an exam – and received no answer? Such silence can result in incomprehension and even doubt. Father Charles Lenoir, chaplain at the Notre-Dame de Montligeon shrine, sheds light on this question, reminding us that to pray is first and foremost to enter into a relationship with God, and to trust him.
Interview recorded for RCF Orne-Calvados-Manche as part of the “Sanctuaires normands” program.
“When you’re in trouble, you call for help spontaneously. It’s a survival instinct. When there’s no solution left, a survival drive pushes us to turn to someone we think, at least confusedly, can help us.” Even Christ, at the moment of his agony, pleads with the Father: “Take this cup away from me”. And yet he gets no answer. Father Charles quotes St. Augustine: “The purpose of prayer is not to instruct God, but to build us up.” He adds: “God already knows what we need. What he’s waiting for is for us to turn to him and trust him.”
Can God act without our faith?
In the Gospels, Jesus asks, “Do you think I can do this for you?” Father Charles insists: “If God doesn’t encounter faith, He cannot act. Faith doesn’t guarantee automatic response, but it does open up a space in which God can act.
When God sees great faith, he says to himself: I can’t disappoint this person. It’s like He is caught in His own trap. But when He senses doubt, it’s as if He was paralyzed.”
Can we then expect an answer if we ask, for example, to win the lottery with immense faith? Father Charles answers with the image of a child who wants to play with matches. Even if he insists, his mother will say no, because she knows it’s dangerous. “God acts in the same way. He knows better than we do what is good.”
Why ask God for what he already knows?
If God already knows our needs, why pray to him? Father Charles’ answer is clear: “To build our filial identity.” Prayer, he says, teaches us to turn to God, to establish a trusting relationship with Him. “That’s the whole point of prayer: to turn towards Him, to learn to depend on Him.
What is God’s reaction to our prayer?
“He’s happy. He’s happy, just as a father or mother is happy when their child turns to them, holds out their arms, calls out to them.” Do we also have the right to be angry if God doesn’t answer? Father Charles agrees: “Yes, we have the right. Just as a child who has not been allowed to crack matches can get angry and throw a tantrum. But later, he’ll understand that his mother was right.”
Can you lose faith after an unanswered prayer?
Here’s the story of a woman I met recently: aged seven, she had begged God not to let her parents divorce. However, they did split up. Since that day, she lost her faith. Father Charles admits that such a risk exists: “Because we are free, and God respects our freedom.” He compares this to the stages of mourning: “The first reaction is anger, revolt. It’s unfair. This stage can last a long time.” This woman, he says, may still be in this phase of revolt. “It is legitimate”, says Father Lenoir.
Are some prayers more efficient than others?
“Faith is everything”, says Father Lenoir. He reminds us of the story of the Cananaean woman, a foreigner who had begged Jesus to heal her daughter. Jesus resisted, rejected her, even humiliated her. Nevertheless, she insisted, humbly, until her plea was heard and accepted. In the end Jesus said: “Woman, your faith is strong.” Which Father Lenoir comments in those terms: “Through her faith, she made Jesus change his mind. The prayer form does not matter, what does is faith.”
Are “irresistible” novenas efficient?
Some devotions that are guaranteed to be answered are sometimes suggested to us: novenas to the Sacred Heart, to Saint Martha, which you have to repeat nine times. Does this really work? “No,” replies Father Charles. “Prayer isn’t a button you press. It is a relationship with God. If you want that relationship to work, you need faith. Everyone has their own personal devotions, their favorite saints. For me, it’s my guardian angel or Saint Joseph. Yet, what matters is not whom I ask, it is the faith I put into my request.
How can we keep praying without getting discouraged?
What do you do when you pray for something objectively right – like finding a home for your family – and nothing happens?
Abstract hypotheses should be avoided, says Father Charles. “God acts on real matters. He intervenes in real-life situations.”
What can we say to those who have lost faith because of an unanswered prayer?
“Sometimes there’s nothing to do but pray for them, with perseverance,” he says. He then shares a personal testimony: “I prayed for my grandmother’s conversion for over thirty years, every day. She was adverse to faith”. A month and a half before her death, she suffered a fainting spell. When she awoke, she asked to be baptized. She was baptized and made her First Communion. “We never knew what she had seen.” He concludes, “We mustn’t lose heart.”
Entrust your loved ones to the prayers of the Church: enroll them for perpetual Mass
At the Notre-Dame de Montligeon Shrine, you can entrust your loved ones to perpetual Mass. Whether they are living or deceased, they will benefit from the faithful prayer of the whole Church, day after day.
