“Our two daughters, Marion et Anna, were killed outside a café in Paris during the terrorist attack in 2015.” Since then, Sylvie et Érick Pétard have been visiting the Notre-Dame-de-Montligeon shrine regularly to seek graces and comfort. But is it possible to become hopeful after being hit by bereavement? Sylvie confided to us during the Pilgrimage of Heaven on Nov. 3, 2024.
We still live with them
“It’s been nine years since our two daughters were killed during the terrorist attacks in 2015 in Paris. We still live with them all the time, continually. Wherever we are praying, we are with them. It is that simple, in fact. We have not broken the link, we just don’t see them anymore. They don’t kiss us anymore, they are no longer here physically. But they are present all the time in our hearts and minds.
Some days are more difficult than others. There are returning birthday dates and anniversaries which revive the pain. However we have learnt to change our experience of our girls. Rather than regarding them through their absence, we choose to celebrate them in prayer. We talk to them, we express our thoughts, our joys and sorrows aloud to them. They are not gone. They just live differently.”
Prayer unites us
“We pray everyday and our prayer supports us. Everyday we receive graces. We realize that God operates through us. He gives us the strength to carry on, to keep depression at bay. We might well collapse but we don’t. Prayer helps us to remain standing. Prayer keeps the link with our daughters alive and allows us not to loose ourselves.
Every morning I start my day reading Psalm 62:
O God, You are my God.
Earnestly I seek You;
my soul thirsts for You.
My body yearns for You
in a dry and weary land without water.
That’s how I entrust my daughters to the Lord, it provides me such inner peace, nothing else could bring such a peace to me. That’s my way to keep standing at their side in a different manner and tell them we still love them for ever. When I go to mass, I feel their presence. They are part of the Communion of Saints as described by the Church, that unity, invisible although very real, between us here on earth and those who have entered the Father’s home before us.”
Beware of getting self-absorbed in grief
“One risk is to let yourself getting completely absorbed by grief, seeing nothing but the emptiness, the disaster, the ordeal. Yet we cannot remain in that state otherwise we would stop living. Keeping our eyes turned towards God and towards Mary helps us to cope. It keeps us from lapsing into despair. Indeed, you need to keep going forward, even when it’s hard.
Suffering is present, however it should not destroy you. We chose to walk with it on our side and not let it become our sole focus. Some days, this requires a tremendous effort. However we are not alone. We have a number of people around us, friends, a community of prayer. Faith offers us a life-saving anchor. It reminds us that death does not have the final say.”
Montligeon, a place for hope after bereavement
“Here in Montligeon, we have found a family. It is more than just a place, it is a community where we find and bring mutual support. Each one bears the other’s pain and understands what the other is going through. We pray together, that’s the tie between us making us stronger. We pray for our deceased and that prayer is what keeps us going.
During the pilgrimages, we meet people who are going through similar losses. We talk, we share our stories, our tears and hopes. There is enormous strength in those moments. We learn from each others. We support each others in faith, which helps us to go forward, step by step, day after day.”
Our faith uplifts us
“As believers, we know that death doesn’t mean the end of everything, it is a transition. Our Lord gave everything and took everything back. It is difficult to accept yet it is a truth. We learn to surrender and trust God. My mom gave me her love, which allows me to keep praying. Prayer is indeed our best support.
It is not easy every day. We go through moments of doubts, wondering ‘Why?’. However, each time I feel at the lowest, God sends me a sign, a word, a meeting, something I read which restores my courage. He does not let us down. He walks the path with us, even if sometimes we don’t realize it.”
Love does not go
“Even if sometimes we think that death puts an end to everything, we are wrong. Love does not go. It exists under a different form, we experience it differently. We learn to love and feel the presence of those who have departed differently. There are still around, yet in a entirely new way. My two daughters are here, with me. They open the way for me.
There is a time before bereavement a a time after it. Nothing will ever be the same anymore. Still, we have learnt to change our vision of life and welcome each little moment as a present. We know we shall see them again one day. In the meantime, we continue to love them, to keep them alive in our hearts and maintain their memory in our prayers. That’s what hope and hopefulness are about.”
