Guilt and unborn children. Martine bears witness to her path from guilt to liberation

“My babies are waiting for me in Heaven”. Here is Martine’s testimony, mother of four unborn children. She came to Montligeon to attend a Stabbat session organized by Mère de Miséricorde (Mother of Mercy), the French Pro-Life Association. She recalled her wounded motherhood, and her path to liberation.

Ill-treated by her mother, Martine underwent a chaotic childhood. She grew up and got married, yet she felt totally inept to bear life. “How can you show love (toward a child) when you were not loved (as a child)?” She got pregnant four times, underwent two abortions and two miscarriages. “I was full of hate and hostile. Yet, I was terrified at the idea of harming the child I expected.”

The unborn child: a wounded motherhood

She entered therapy to work on her being ill-treated during childhood. However, she kept feeling a permanent leaden screed over her head.

Her marriage did not outlive such trials. Martine went on to unreservedly suppress the memory of her unborn children, until a priest suggested to acknowledge and thus allow them to exist, by naming each of them, and have Mass celebrated. One step at a time, she walked her way from guilt to liberation.  

The long path to liberation

“Behind every wounded motherhood lies a guilt that demands to be accompanied and ultimately, healing.” Martine heard of the special sessions organized by Mère de Miséricorde (Mother of Mercy), the French Pro-Life Association. Whereby, during five days, one is offered to revisit one’s personal history to understand the cause of one’s wounded motherhood, and to label one’s childhood wounds, then to receive the sacrament of reconciliation and forgive oneself: “One has to live on beyond the fatal perpetuated deeds.”

Now Martine has walked her way to liberation. She named each of her unborn children. “They are alive, in my soul and in my heart, and I do not fear any longer to say that I have four little angels in heaven.”  

Within the Basilica of Our Lady of Montligeon, a chapel dedicated to Our Lady of the deceased little ones holds a special place; it receives all who come and pray for unborn children.

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